18: My Wish
I was standing nervously in front of the office door. I breathed deeply and calmed myself before knocking on the door.
I, who always came to his office whenever he summoned me, sent a message to him in advance to let him know I was coming. Therefore, I wanted to think that my father knew that something was different from usual.
“Earl Thousand. It’s Ayesha-marie.” I didn’t call him father and instead called him Earl Thousand. I accidentally called him that because my fighting spirit showed through.
“Ah, come in.” My father replied as he usually did.
I opened the door and entered the office. My father was turned towards the window and only his backside was visible from the doorway. In other words, my father had his back towards me.
The wrinkle-free clothes he’d just taken off when he greeted the new year were reflected in my eyes.
“It’s unusual for you to have business with me. I made sure that Guerlain and the others won’t disturb us. You have something to say to me, don’t you? Say it.” My father turned towards me and said that. He then urged me to sit on the sofa.
I glanced up and saw my father’s light brown hair and eyes. It was a common colour. Being in his 40s, he had some wrinkles around the corner of his eyes. He didn’t look like someone that was hard to deal with. As usual, he gave off an aura that would crack under pressure. It was surprising that he’d survived high society this long.
It was certainly thanks to the polarising Furore-sama’s support.
I controlled my breathing and said, “First of all father, do you remember that my birthday is on the 25th day of the month when the flowers bloom? I will be at adult at that time.”
I wanted to look down, but I can’t convey my message to someone if I don’t look them in the eyes. I stared at my father’s eyes and continued talking, “I have never asked you to celebrate my birthday. I would like you to grant my first and last wish as your daughter. And I want you to grant my wish as Earl Thousand.”
I, who had finished speaking up until that point, felt like the world around me had gone silent.
I waited for my father’s reply.
“…… It depends on your wish. Tell me what it is.” He wasn’t haughty, he replied in a calm voice.
“I want to be removed from the noble register once I reach adulthood… I found this information from a law book at the library the other day. A child born from a noble and commoner can choose what register they belong to, by applying for it themselves. Therefore, I want to remove myself from the noble register and apply for the commoner one.”
I didn’t avert my eyes from my father’s at all.
Did my strong determination and earnest thoughts reach him?
“If I become a commoner, then I’ll have nothing to do with the Thousand House. I won’t be able to enter this estate. I won’t cause trouble for the Thousand House. If I’m gone, then I won’t incur Furore-sama’s wrath. You won’t have to prepare a dowry when I get married. If I teach someone how to help out around the office, then they should easily be able to do my work. So please permit me to enter the commoner’s register.” I said all at once.
My father and I stared at each other.
“Ayesha-marie, what advantages does this give you?”
“… I could live as a human being… I know that the necessities I’ve received till now is better than what commoners get. But, I can’t express my emotions around the people here. I want a friend who I can talk equally with. And like my commoner mother, I want to live on my own power.”
I was treated like a servant, so my true intentions was to live as I liked for once; I’d became a commoner. But that was something that I couldn’t say out loud.
I was worried about whether I got through to him or not, but I had to tell him in a way that wouldn’t break his pride.
My father cared too much about the things around him; regardless of whether it was good or bad. But that was also half-hearted.
He confined my mother within the estate because he thought that it would be hard for her to raise a child born from a noble in the city. He probably also gauged Furore-sama’s feelings on the matter and he eventually noticed that he was hurting the both of them. In addition, as a result of my half-hearted position, I was treated as a heretic by everyone.
I had experience living with my mother, a strong-minded commoner, but I guess that the people around me don’t understand that I’d been extremely tolerant towards them.
If I must say myself, I grew up to be a good child. But I was bad with the social arts of the nobility.
If I was the only one taken to this estate, then I’d probably have become a noble with some weird gloomy pride.
While I was thinking such things, my father said, “… I didn’t know we had laws like that. Borrow the book and give it to me. I’ll think about it again.”
It didn’t feel like I should stay in the office any longer, so I bowed and left.
I was more nervous than I had thought I would be, and as soon as I’d left the office, I breathed deeply. I had gripped my hands too tightly and nail marks clearly appeared on my palms.
Anyway, I’d said what I wanted to say to father.
I left after he said he’d think about it.
It was good for my first negotiations against a noble.
A lot of places were on holiday until the 2nd day of the new year. The Royal Library would be opened from the 3rd.
I headed to the Royal Library again by carriage on my father’s orders. I was there to borrow the book that contained noble laws. I was dressed in the clothes that Furore-sama had given me.
The Fernand Empire calendar had 7 days and 4 weeks in a month. January was the beginning of the year and March is when the flowers bloom.