Chapter 01: New-born Emperor

Translator: Blushy
Editor: SenjiQ and delishnoodles

This new series will be released daily on Mondays, and you can read ahead on Patreon! Hope you enjoy (:

I’m eating baby food right now. If any of this food is poisoned, then I will die soon. I suppressed my fear as I ate the liquid food that was being carried to my mouth.

I read some light novels about reincarnation in my previous life… but did I read any where the protagonists spent their infancy in fear? I didn’t have any reincarnation cheats, nor did I talk to god, nor am I obliged to do anything, or requested to do something…

I don’t even remember how I died in my previous life. But well, I’m pretty sure I didn’t have many friends because I didn’t trust people very much.

I don’t believe I was someone who died saving someone, so I don’t think this reincarnation is a ‘reward’.

My reincarnation isn’t ‘I apologise, I made a mistake’; if it were, then I would probably have had a conversation with God. But… is it possible for that memory to be erased? No, no, I wouldn’t be an assassination target with no cheats if that had happened.

Which means this is divine punishment after all? Punishment… What did I do…? I was just a normal guy who didn’t have the mental capacity to do something terrible that would result in me being punished like this.

My memories of my previous life are hazy… I can remember the faces of my parents and siblings, but I can’t remember their names. I can’t remember my own name either. I don’t have any memories at all about my death, so I don’t know if I did anything that would cause me to be punished.

… By the way, this paste tastes disgusting. Isn’t it poisoned?


Well then, there’s one thing in this world that I feel has potential. Something in the air that I obviously didn’t feel in my previous life.

When the maid burnt garbage in the garden, they produced sparks from their fingertips.

It’s magic. Fantasy, confirmed.

I’m a bit excited.

Well, I’m always under someone’s watchful eye no matter what I do, and the only thing I can do is play with the magical thing in front of me as a baby.

Toys? I play with wooden blocks and stuff just to control my hands and fingers.

Now, this magical thing… I guess I can just call it magic.

If I can somehow control this at will, then I can gain my own fighting power. Combat power was directly related to survival in the medieval ages and early modern period. I want to be able to use magic by any means necessary.

I’ll try to… feel it first. Yup. I can’t feel anything. I can’t feel any change even if I can perceive it. Also, I didn’t know if magic formed through particles or if it flows in the wind or something since I can’t see it.

In that case, the next step is… pray. Gather around my finger… gather…

Nope. I don’t feel it gathering in my finger at all. I wonder if I need to chant after all.

“Au~, ah~.” (Wind, blow)

Hmm, well, it didn’t work. I knew that it wouldn’t. The maid is looking at me and smiling.

Ah~, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know. I only feel like I can control it.


“Alright, Your Majesty. It’s time to sleep.”

Hey, nanny, that’s really uncomfortable. Won’t you stop? I’m the King. I’m the King. You can’t use the title of the highest authority in the kingdom like that… it’s like some weird play.

Now then, she picked me up and laid me on a wastefully sparkling bed with a fence and a canopy.

Why is the bed gold and shiny? What bad taste.

Well, let’s forget about that for now. I completely forgot about the important thing that is often found in otherworldly novels.

Magic items. If there’s magic, then there’s usually magic items, and I’m probably using this magic item.

I’m a baby, so of course I will poop and soil myself. I’m really used to this. There’s no point in resisting. There’s no shame in this.

The diapers of this world are of course not convenient disposable diapers, but cloth ones.

But… the cloth gets soaked every time you piss, right? Normally.

But the ones I use don’t. It’s strange. Then, I looked down and noticed it for the first time. Well, I don’t know why I didn’t notice it before. There was something attached to it.

At the tip of my private region there was something that looked like a very shortened smoking pipe.

I spent the rest of the day observing this tool after I noticed it.

I found out that the nannies also changed this tool whenever they changed my cloth diaper. To be precise, they only changed the tool that was attached to me. They would turn it to remove it and put another one back on.

However, it’s removed once a day when I’m soaked in hot water.

I hadn’t noticed this before because I always looked away when they changed the cloth or bathed me… It’s still awkward even though I’m used to it.

Now, the tool that has been attached to that region of my private… is definitely a magic tool. The tip is far too small for the amount of water it absorbs. I’m sure some kind of magic is at work here.

So, what kind of magic is being used in this magic tool? I’m going to think about it in my spare time.

Well, I don’t know the rules, effects, limits, or price of magic in this world, so it’s a completely unknown concept… For example, it’ll be hopeless if I have to pray to a spirit, but I’ll think about that when the time comes. I’ll have to remember it when I learn about the myths and legends of this world.

So, let’s start by assuming that there isn’t much difference between magic in this world and my understanding of magic (that is from the knowledge of my previous life).

First, the basic effect of this tool is to absorb water. I think it’s either ‘water absorption’ or ‘compression’. It gets removed every time I take a bath, probably to prevent it from malfunctioning rather than for maintenance purposes.

I thought about ‘transfer’ as well… but if that were the case then I don’t see why they would need to change it regularly.

The next important thing is odour absorption. I’ve started eating all sorts of pastes and it stinks, if I do say so myself. But I can’t smell my urine at all while I’m wearing this magic tool. That’s even when it’s being changed.

Which means that this magic tool not only absorbs water, but it also absorbs odours.

I don’t know if scents can be compressed. Scientific law from my previous life and the laws of magic in this world might not match in some aspects. So, I personally think that the moisture and odour are being ‘absorbed’ without distinction.

Finally, the cost-effectiveness of this tool.

It actually comes in a variety of shapes. Well, the basic shape and the join between the shaft and the tip are perfectly consistent. Aside from that, the rest of it was slightly bent, and there were some obvious marks carved on it. For a second, I got scared and thought it might be cursed, but the maids would have noticed it. I’m not sure why it would have been overlooked. Oh, I think it’s probably some store name or something.

There’s a high possibility that this item was made by hand by a craftsman. This mark is the craftsman’s logo.

Then, it’s possible to apply a reusable ‘transfer’ spell to it. Of course, since there’s magic tools with ‘water absorption and odour absorption’, then there’s probably magic tools with ‘evaporation’… but what’s scarier is the possibility that they’re destroying the tool every time.

It’s not normal. It’s too expensive for the effect it provides. It’s wasteful.

Don’t tell me… I’m an Emperor, even if I’m corrupt. It’s possible.

Is this alright? The people won’t start a revolution, right? Enlightenment hasn’t spread yet, right? I don’t want any uprisings or to be sent to the guillotine… Seriously…

Ah, I’m getting sleepy. I’m going to sleep now.