Chapter 61: Appearances and Truth 05
I don’t know why he’s bringing up such an important thing again now…
“Ah, those eyes! Don’t tell me you’re regretting this marriage?” Seeing my downturned eyes, General Lector looked up at me and asked.
Why is such an important person asking about my mood?
“I’m amazed with the way you’ve been putting things off after our marriage. It’s fake, isn’t it? We’re in a fake marriage. Don’t you know? We’ll end up fighting with each other after our marriage if you do that. You wouldn’t like that, would you? A bitter wife. So next time, you’d better be honest and tell me everything first.”
Because, you know?
It would be nice to have a fairy tale where I’m loved by such a wonderful person and become happy for a long time.
Thanks to the teachings of my tutor, Alice, lately, I’ve been able to avoid making some of the more surprising mistakes, but I’m really a commoner at heart. I’m a commoner right down to my bones, so there’s a lot of things in the life of a noble that I’m confused about.
I still like taking baths by myself and changing my clothes quickly by myself.
My bowing and walking are at a level where I can finally be told, “Well, it’s okay,” after a lot of tutoring and hard work.
The servants actually looked down on me at the beginning. It’s like this even in a military fortress in the middle of nowhere, so I would really like to stay away from the capital and castle. People finally stopped picking on me, but I feel like I’m going to have to start all over again if I go there. How many times do I have to go through this?
Besides, this is a fake marriage. It’s a white-lie marriage because we got married for our own mutual interests. It’s still very white.
No matter how you look at our marriage, it’s white. And there’s no sign of any colour.
He and I are both a young man and woman, so it could be possible for him to be a little impatient, be tempted, or shake me violently like in a manga or light novel, but it didn’t seem like he would do any of those things at all.
My (temporary) husband seemed adamant to never touch me, and he keeps a certain distance between us while smiling and talking sweetly.
Still, this man is a good person, he always cares about me, is kind, answers my questions honestly and sincerely like now, and occasionally his flirtatious character leaks out and he says sweet words.
Of course, I’m not wavering. There are times when I want to dream.
But I have never had any love experience, so I believe I will take a long time to recover if he divorced me after I fall in love with him for real. If I’m unlucky, it might take me my whole life to recover. Scary.
And even if he thinks that he is alright with me, I’m sure he’ll find my faults one day. If I make a big mistake, then the royal family and their close aides might tell him to divorce me.
The day will come when someone will say that I’m not ‘good enough’ for him.
Honestly, I don’t want to be hurt.
If I have to fight against such people for the rest of my life, then I would be happier living quietly in a city as a commoner, rather than feeling ashamed of so many people accusing me of being unworthy.
So, for now, I hope that spring will come soon, and I can end this life with all the beautiful memories.
He will surely become a beautiful memory for me if he wouldn’t smile at me anymore, or if he doesn’t make my heartbeat when he’s relaxing in my private room, or if I can stay far away from him, so I don’t hear him calling my voice.
I will live a leisurely life, selling potions with Lolo, and I’ll talk about my memories of him every once in a while, to Lolo.
I looked at Lolo who was sleeping at my feet.
I’m glad she’s here. She’s the only one who will never betray me, because that’s what the contract states. Well, I might complain about her every once in a while.
… Yeah, I complain a lot.
Lolo eats really good food…
Well, I have to admit, I’m a little troubled by this now, to the point where I find myself thinking about it constantly and frowning.
After all, I’ve never been with a man before!
Say, why do men wander around half-naked after their bath?
Huh? It’s fine as long as they have their underwear on? I don’t want to hear that.
He’s always training because he’s a soldier, so he’s got great abs. And it’s in plain sight when he relaxes in our common living room.
He was so proud of himself that I thought he was showing off.
I asked him to come out properly dressed.
But he didn’t care, “It’s hot. Let me do what I want in my own private room,” he said.
If it’s that hot, then why don’t you take less frequent baths? I think once is enough to get clean. Even though I’m able to take warm baths now, I always feel bad when I think about the burden it causes the servants, even if I only bathe once a day.
Besides, isn’t that outfit a bit too sloppy for a royal? And why do you always come out without drying your hair first? I’m sure you weren’t brought up this way, so why do you do it?
Your sexual appeal is overflowing. I feel like staring at him, but I always force my gaze away. It’s annoying.
The way he smiles when he sees me having trouble looking away from him makes me think that he’s doing this on purpose, but I don’t care. I just want him to stop.
It’s not fair that he’s so aloof and I’m the only one who’s heart is beating like crazy!
Even when I try to retreat back to my bedroom to avoid looking at anything, he goes out of his way to call out to me, “I’m up~, so let’s have tea together,” he would say, so I had to make the ultimate choice: I’d rather be in the living room where the psychological damage is less than to be shown this situation at the entrance of my bedroom.
I’d rather be in the living room where there are other places to look.
Oh, aren’t the flowers in the vase beautiful again today?
This General is really annoying because his face is, generally speaking, very handsome and he’s my type. His black hair is shiny, his blue eyes are clear and he’s tall with an imposing smile.
I can’t help but feel happy whenever he acts sweetly towards me.
Say, it’s impossible not to fall in love with him.