Chapter 80: Game? 04
But afterwards, I felt that Lector was worried that I was too busy thinking to answer “Me too” to his confession.
Well, I do like him… yes, resisting this has already become futile.
But it’s not like the various obstacles that I’ve seen, even if I don’t like them, are going to disappear.
So, I feel bad that I couldn’t react the way he was expecting me to, and I don’t know if it was because of that, but his gaze seems to be getting strangely moist lately…?
Also, he has been asking questions like, “Why don’t you think about becoming an actual married couple?” recently in a way that I can’t tell if he’s joking or being serious… He was probably being serious, but I always smile ambiguously before running away from him, so the mood has become even more delicate than before.
Of course, I’m overjoyed at hearing his words, but joining the royal family was a hurdle too high for someone as cowardly as me.
I’ve been worried about this for a long time, but once I’m officially recognized as a royal and presented to the public, then I can’t simply run away because I’m sick of being a royal.
I can’t just jump freely into a big gamble that I can’t go back on. It’s a lifetime deal.
I can only see a future full of hardships since people look down on me for not being able to manage the servants.
I want to have the ‘Charm’ skill even if it’s low. I don’t care if it’s cheating or not, I just want to be able to naturally act like a distinguished person.
I can’t let my maids casually ask, “Oh, those sweets look delicious. If there are any leftovers, may I have some?” But I can understand why they do.
It’s nice that they feel close to me, but it’s clear that I don’t have the aura of a royal, or even a noble.
And yet, I know that I have a problem since I thoughtlessly reply, “Oh, they are. It’s more than I can eat.”
It’s wasteful to throw the leftovers away. Also, the maid who volunteered to be my maid when I was suspected of being a fake saint, and who had initially given me a lot of guidance in my life, could not easily change her position.
If possible, please don’t ask me about this anymore and just live secretly in a place where I can’t see you.
My tutor, Alice, is also my shadow.
“It is important to discipline servants. It’s okay to silently glare at them and reject them,” she told me, but I don’t have the personality to just say, “Ah, then,” and then glare at them thoughtlessly…
Why wasn’t I raised like that…? Sadly, I was raised as a genuine commoner…
I’m sure Lector knows how I feel about him.
I’m aware that my face turns red when he stares at me these days and my heart jumps out of my chest, making me restless. I can’t help but feel a little flustered by him.
So I’m aware that I can’t hide my feelings from him for much longer.
Lector seems blindly happy at those times.
But even so, I can’t bring myself to take the leap, and I’m still taking advantage of the fact that he hasn’t taken any concrete actions to maintain my white marriage.
So even if we’re in our living room together at night, I would always say, “Good night,” and retreat to my bedroom when it got somewhat late, no matter how suggestive his gaze is.
“Say, why don’t you sit over here? It’s warm and close to the fireplace. You can come and sit next to me,” even if he sparkles as he says that to me, I reply, “Excuse me? No, no, no, I’m fine! I’m not cold. I don’t need the fireplace… Ah, I’m going to bed now! I’m going to sleep now, alright?! Good night~. You can take your time in the living room,” before running away as fast as I can.
He wasn’t suggesting I sit on the sofa, you know?! If I were to sit down there, then the mood would be set!
If that were to happen then there’s no way I could resist…
We kept repeating this until one day, my (temporary) husband said out of nowhere in our living room, “Well, isn’t it about time you gave me a goodnight kiss? We’re married. It’s normal to give each other goodnight kisses.”
I feel like he’s getting more and more aggressive, probably because he’s confident that I feel the same way.
But of course, I can’t let him drive me into a corner. I have to resist while I still can!
Hey, let’s keep our original promise.
As a result of my frantic resistance, we had a quite yet heated battle that lasted for several days.
… In the end, I finally gave in, but as a last resort, the goodnight kiss was ‘on the cheek’. That was the compromise between us.
I tried my best! I can say that it’s a greeting if it’s just a kiss on the cheek! … Right?
It was taxing for me to reject the face I like, which was intensely smiling at me.
But it would be bad for my heart if we did more than this! Lector doesn’t look unhappy about this either! I know he’s compromising a lot but so am I!
But well that happened, so as promised, these days, I reluctantly do my best to tip-top up to the taller Lector and give him a goodnight kiss on the cheek, and in return, his lips would touch my cheek, and at the moment that happens, I run to my bedroom as fast as I can.
Of course, I didn’t have the time to see what he looked like at those times.
He’s an extremely handsome man, and he has a face that’s right up my alley, so to have to get close to that face and kiss it is…!
I can vividly smell his masculine scent close to me…!
I’m trying not to lose control and to frantically complete my mission. I’m trying hard not to get swept away, by what?
So once when Lector tried to hug me, I was really surprised and I don’t remember much, but I think I pushed him away, screamed and ran away.
This person is dangerous. He’s dangerous!
Hang on me, don’t lose control of yourself. If I carelessly lose control of myself, then I’ll be lying in a bed of thorns for the rest of my life and have to discipline myself forever…!
This situation began to change a bit when Father came back from the work that Lector had asked him to do.
The Priest, who had just recently returned from scouting the ‘Valley People’, quickly saw through our delicate relationship, or rather, the situation, and has been approaching Lector and quarrelling with him lately.
And today, I thought we were having a lively tea party, unusually with the Vice-General as well, the Priest suddenly spoke…