Translated by iseuli
Edited by Meira
Dragons are not particularly fond of monsters.
Monsters originate from evil descent.
The temperament of monsters and dragons differ vastly. When dragons are faced with monsters they will mercilessly burn them, trample them, and cut them in two.
Monsters are captured and spiritually contracted by dragons only when necessary. Our master had spiritually contracted Elkiesel, a dark elf, so he could be lazy while I was contracted because he required a professional scrubber.
As dragons are not humans, it’s not necessary for them to worry about acne or other cosmetic issues. However dragons remain asleep for long periods of time and dust and foreign substances gradually build up and stick onto their scales. For this reason, dragons spiritually contract a monster or two for hygiene maintenance.
I still feel very sad when I remember my first few days in this world. I awoke in this world and found out I was to be a dragon’s official scrubber. This caused me major depression. It was already sad enough that I was born a slime. It felt like they were applying salt on my wounds, giving me a title like Dragon’s Official Scrubber.
I efficiently breeze through the daily cleaning process now, but in my rookie days, every day felt greuling. Kalgilm’s tail alone was 23 meters long and a single one of his wings was as big as a football field.
The sole person responsible for scrubbing Kalgilm’s body was me. Surprisingly, I didn’t need to put much effort scrubbing because I didn’t have any arms or legs. I just absorbed the dust on the surface of his scales and melted it away by remaining in place. It’s just that Kalgim was so enormous.
My master is so evil! How could he only hire one scrubber, he requires at least a hundred to efficiently clean such a huge body.
I was just a weakling mob slime so I was forced to lock away all the complaints in my heart.
My master is a three thousand year old dragon.
If I were to complain, he would probably snort and I would die from the sudden gust from his nostrils.
Ever since I woke up in this world, my master was asleep. Elkiesel would probably listen to my complaints, but he was a dark elf, ignorant of a slime’s hardships.
I should be grateful that I don’t need to worry about being killed off by level one adventurers and their wooden swords.
PuRing, I wouldn’t be able to scream in pain as I die since I’m a slime.
I’m used to cleaning jobs since I’ve worked at a convenience store.
Students always left trails of ramen and snacks on the floor after class. Drunkards left vomit for me throughout the evening. As a result, my day always ended with a mountain of trash.
A dragon’s body is relatively clean and odorless compared to the convenience store in my past life.
It’s important to look to the positive side of life, I told myself.
I don’t need to live my life paycheck to paycheck while fearing over monthly rent. Such problems like exhaustion from overwork doesn’t seem to be an issue for monsters. Additionally, I’m a named monster, so as long as my master is alive, I will not die.
There are two classes of monsters who serve dragons. They are the named and the unnamed monsters. Unnamed monsters were not bound spiritually while they served the dragon. Named monsters were bound and expected to serve the dragon to the day of its death. I’m such a monster who had the honor of being given a name by a dragon.
Dragons have a lifespan of ten thousand years. I expected that Kalgilm would have spent a majority of his life outside. How could he remain asleep for so long?
I sat on every little crack to melt away the dust. Gradually, Kalgilm’s scales glimmered like a newly polished window. I felt so satisfied just looking at the scales sparkling. I then moved on to my next task of cleaning his face.
I was always the most careful around Kalgilm’s cheeks. Apparently the mana focuses on this point whenever he inflicts any sort of magic attack against his enemies. It was basically a missile launcher.
I’m a monster so I’m naturally sensitive to mana. Kalgilm’s cheeks were like weed and just a single sweep was enough to get me high. I was always extra careful and detailed across this area because it felt so good to be here. Cleaning his cheeks made my job feel worthwhile.
I felt someone’s gaze as I melted off the dust, and turned around.
Elkiesel, I’m working hard! You see?
I almost fell off my master’s horn as I threw a mental fit. I sat at a height of 50 meters on the very tip of his horns. If I were to fall at this height, I would die and become a pancake.
“Master. Master.”
A pair of golden eyes a hundred times my size stared at me.
Monsters reflexively freeze against stronger monsters. I originally thought such reactions must be fake, but here I am frozen like I’ve been stored in an ice box, unmoving like stone.
Terrifying. Why do I fear Kalgilm so much when I’ve known him for so long?
I’ve cleaned Kalgilm’s body a countless number of times and I’m confident enough to say that I know him better than anyone.
His facial scales are densely packed and strengthened. I become so sleepy because the surface of his giant football sized wing is so cozy from its soft warmness. His toes have many jagged scratches from battle while his eyelids have many wrinkles to them.
I wasn’t aware that his eyes would look so brilliant. His eyes looked like two suns shining through the darkness. I couldn’t stare directly into their depths and had to turn my body away because I was just a weak mob monster. I was such a weakling that I felt like his stare alone was enough to make me disappear from the face of the planet.
“Master!”
Elkiesel had a bright smile as he ran over to us. From this height, he looked like a tirelessly running ant.
Suddenly, I didn’t feel anything below my body and I shot down toward the floor. I would turn into a pancake slime if I crashed onto the ground from this height.
No!
Even as a slime, a fall of this distance would take at least a few months to heal!
I’d fallen one time back during my rookie days of scrubbing Kalgilm. I couldn’t move from my basket at all for a full five months because my body splattered into ten separate pieces on impact.
I almost died of shock. Now that I’d evolved and awoken my human consciousness, I couldn’t help but feel absolute fear over the fact that my body was torn apart into so many pieces. It was psychologically difficult to accept.
A variety of zombie movies were produced in my past world. Corpses would come to life and attack the living. Anyone bitten by a zombie would die and turn into a zombie as well. This horror would become a vicious cycle and go on endlessly. I couldn’t help but imagine the absolute torment when I watched those types of movies.
What if those people who became monsters couldn’t control their bodies, but retained their original human consciousness? My arms and legs wouldn’t stop shaking.
This impossible fear of mine had become reality. My body parts were strewn all over the floor while my consciousness remained as alert as ever.
I never want to experience it ever again in my life.
I spread out my body to catch the air so that I could slow my fall to the best of my ability. My body however spread only momentarily and instantly sprang back into a tiny round football. In spite of this, my drop speed gradually decreased until I lightly plopped onto a set of pale hands. I blinked my eyes and looked toward the person in front of me.
A man with golden eyes and long black hair that reached the floor stared at me with a cold, uncaring expression as he held me on his hands. He let out a dark laugh and threw me up onto his shoulder.
I was the size of a football on his hand, but I looked like a small baseball on his shoulder. I looked smaller, but for some reason I felt bigger.
Kalgilm was the most beautiful and charming person I’ve seen in my entire life. If God created me with his feet, then God probably used all sorts of different tools while taking his time meticulously crafting Kalgilm.
Tsk. Why does he have such long eyelashes? You could easily balance three match sticks on their length.
He had pointed ears like an elf’s, while his skin was smooth and flawless. His eyes, nose, and lips were so graceful that even someone a hundred meters away would be completely awestruck.
“Hand-some,” I thought out loud.
Kalgilm turned to me and stared.
How could I shamelessly judge my master’s face? I became as small as a ping pong ball in fear that he would send me flying with a single snort.
To my surprise, Kalgilm didn’t send me flying. Instead he gently pet my head and gave me a light kiss on the cheek.
I lived 25 years as a human, but I never kissed the opposite gender in my life. Of course not on the lips, not even on my cheek. My body felt feverish when the most handsome guy of my life kissed me. My temperature probably went up by a full degree.
Kalgilm cared for such a slime like me enough that he would even kiss me. Afterall, I’d been cleaning his body so well all these years. He would probably have a hard time finding a more earnest, hard working scrubber than me.
The gentle softness I felt in my heart was instantly smashed to pieces. He didn’t even give me time to feel satisfied.
“Have you been well, Bouncy?”
Don’t call me Bouncy!
***
The Lagrangian Mountain was also known as the Dragon Mountain because so many dragons dwell in this place. Kalgilm was one of the many dragons who lived in the Lagrangian mountain. He’s lived the past three thousand years on this peak.
Countless kings and kingdoms had risen and fallen after three thousand years. This, however, was not such a long period of time for a dragon, who normally lived up to ten thousand years.
Kalgilm was still young in dragon years. He was a black dragon with the thunder attribute that is both demonic and holy. He was a dragon who was unpredictable and cruel, but at heart both benevolent and well meaning.
In short, to his enemies he was mercilessly cold hearted, but at the same time, would willingly give up a kidney for those on his side.
Kalgilm was not your average dragon. No, he was one of the strongest dragons of all.
Dragons slept for long periods and laze most of their days. In Kalgilm’s case, he was lazier than the laziest dragon.
Dragons in their youths were normally busy out in the world to adventure and play games. They were too busy to spend any time in their lairs. Kalgilm, on the other hand, was the living proof that there were recluses amongst dragons as well. Ever since he was born, he had never left his lair to play even once in his life.
There were many different types of monsters and living organisms that made their homes inside the dragons’ territory. Therefore, dragons kept a handful of monsters to help manage the place. Dragons kept an average of five named monsters with them at all times.
Kalgilm only kept two named monsters. Elkiesel, the manager and guardian of his lair, and Bouncy, the official dragon scrubber.
Bouncy originally thought her name was due to Elkiesel’s awful naming sense. In truth, it had been Kalgilm’s awful naming sense. No, the dragon probably couldn’t manage to muster up any effort and was too lazy to name her properly.
The core reason that Kalgilm had only two named monsters was because he was so extremely lazy. Many monsters agree to make a spiritual contract with a dragon and officially become a named monster due to their own personal reasons.
Kalgilm belatedly realized how troublesome and drawn out the process was and stopped trying to form spiritual contracts and name monsters. Elkiesel, an unusual dark elf, could control the minds of monsters weaker than himself and force them to do whatever he wished. Thus, the dragon judged this was enough to guard against any intruders in his lair.
The first hibernation lasted 500 years for Kalgilm. He immediately felt horrible when he opened his eyes after the long sleep. He was covered in dust from head to toe after sleeping in the same position for 500 years.
Before he went into hibernation for the second time, he visited the neighboring green dragon, NeAffronti.